| Author | Message | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1500 Registered: 11-2003 |
Towards the Woods I promised I would glance at the river, not linger long in its abundance— the suck and draw of stones smooth enough to slip into a pocket, as you have done with me, for safe-keeping. I was sore with cold, pronounced dead upon arrival. A ghost, I composed siren’s songs before the trees closed in on me, before I disappeared into one of my strophes. If I have invented these shadows of leaves, if the arms of branches have turned away, tidied up the mess of fallen angels, why can’t we tumble in the spray, lulled by river mist, a rainbow, droplets of golden arch, beads of sun. You step out through the trees, a green man, not comfort- able with indecision. The drone of white woods when you scatter, all shyness between us. You take my hands, empty each pocket, drop all unanswered questions into the bubbling forest. (Message edited by lauriette on February 05, 2006) | ||
| Emusing
Moderator Username: emusing Post Number: 2700 Registered: 08-2003 |
Laurie I love the peacefulness of this and especially the last two strophes. You step out through the trees, a green man, not comfort- able with indecision. The drone of white woods when you scatter, all shyness between us. You take my hands, empty each pocket, drop all unanswered questions into the bubbling forest. The mood is pensive and the end offers release. Doty yesterday said no "arms or fingers for trees" but I disagree. It is an eternal metaphor. E | ||
| Teresa White
Intermediate Member Username: teresa_white Post Number: 559 Registered: 01-2005 |
Laurie, Another fine poem. This one is expertly crafted with wonderful imagery. Also, the "voice" is just right for the subject matter. Enjoyed, Teresa | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1501 Registered: 11-2003 |
christ HOW CAN I FIGHT DOTY? you think he's wrong in this case? sorry but i'm freaking and thanks for the positiveness and teresa you are a sweetie thanks laurie | ||
| Barbara St. Aubrey
New member Username: elyse Post Number: 32 Registered: 01-2006 |
Oh my - especially like -- You take my hands, empty each pocket, drop all unanswered questions into the bubbling forest. | ||
| Emusing
Moderator Username: emusing Post Number: 2707 Registered: 08-2003 |
Don't freak. Every accomplished poet seems to have their list of pecadillios. His was trees with fingers and hands. He also said there are no rules if something is done well. In fact, his example was that whenever he creates a rule like that, the class will usually write a poem showing how it can be done. He says, "I would do the same thing if it were me." For me, there are no absolutes. E | ||
| Rhonda Maltbie
Member Username: rondalyn Post Number: 90 Registered: 04-2005 |
Laurie, I am always blown away with your ability. This poem is lovely, masterful line breaks and enjambment and imagery. Gorgeous. Rhonda | ||
| Lazarus
Advanced Member Username: lazarus Post Number: 1064 Registered: 10-2005 |
Sometimes I hate poetry because it is so selfish. I am speaking of my own here, almost more than anyone elses. Yet, the best poems are full of it- and still manage to somehow turn themselves into something unselfish. Which is what you have done here. And the earth, bristling and raw, tiny and lost resumes its search; rushing through the vast astonishment- Ted Hughes, from His Legs Ran About. | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb Post Number: 6591 Registered: 07-2001 |
listen to your inner voice it is seldom wrong smiles. Gary A River Transformed The Dawg House December Fireweed | ||
| michael julius sottak
Advanced Member Username: julius Post Number: 2095 Registered: 12-2003 |
well done, Una... (and rules for the breaking!) | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1506 Registered: 11-2003 |
rhonda, bless you, i'm feeling so uninspired and lazarus, one of the nicest compliments, much thanks gary--except when it comes to men oops and Jules haha thanks that's a kind thing to say but does she prevail? peace all laurie | ||
| michael julius sottak
Advanced Member Username: julius Post Number: 2097 Registered: 12-2003 |
yes, resoundingly, My Lady..........! her search never ends, apex, longitudes, nadirs, lattitude..... not definitions of the wind! | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1508 Registered: 11-2003 |
thanks jules, Una is a heroine i think peace laurie | ||
| michael julius sottak
Advanced Member Username: julius Post Number: 2111 Registered: 12-2003 |
definately, Laurietta... the backhand slap, and you can see it coming, as she twists through literature... and then she delivers a kiss....... not the standard, high-heel off the ground kiss, but certainly a kiss... as my sister would say: "Cool Beans!" | ||
| Christopher T George
Senior Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 4138 Registered: 12-2004 |
Hi Laurie Lovely poem, Laurie, full of resonant images and implications. Bravo. A very worthy poem of the week. Well done, Laurie. Chris Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ Co-Editor, Loch Raven Review http://www.lochravenreview.net/ http://christophertgeorge.blogspot.com/ | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1529 Registered: 11-2003 |
thanks Chris I was surprised.... peace laurie |
